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[hasmuchtolearn]

This is Obi-Wan Kenobi. Leave your message.

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[hasmuchtolearn]

That would be a bit awkward.

Yes, I suppose so. My master would have said much the same. Getting past all of that and… other things has been more difficult than I would have expected.

[He’s also definitely touching his face at the moment as he tries to imagine facial hair.]

You really think I look better with a beard? I would grow one if I was knighted. Though I suppose that didn’t stop you.

[lothal]

It's not easy. "Letting go" and all that. I just try to... I don't know, accept what I can. Try to live by my master's example. [Ezra laughs lightly, nostalgic as he remembers one of Kanan's very early lessons] And he'd remind me about doing, not trying. You know.

But yeah! I didn't have too much of a choice given where I was, this was just easier to maintain. I know the braid's a padawan thing, but the haircut too? I'd definitely grow it out if I were you.

[hasmuchtolearn]

What? You mean like what Master Yoda says?

[He gives his best gravely Yoda impression.]

Do or do not. There is no try.

[He then snorts.]

You’re not the first person to think that. But I’ve had this literally all my life. And giving it up without being knighted just doesn’t feel right.

[lothal]

Exactly! That's, that's perfect. I'd do my own version, but I feel like I'll just end up doing an impression of your impression.

[Given how long it's been since he's actually heard Yoda.]

We could just knight you. And me, while we're at it.

[hasmuchtolearn]

[Obi-Wan laughs lightly at that. He’s heard Yoda’s voice many many times. He wasn’t ever likely to forget it.]

But you need a master to do the knighting. We don’t have any here.

[Sorry Ezra, he’s very much a stickler for the rules and traditions.]

[lothal]

My master was knighted by a ghost. Besides, we don't really have a Jedi Order here anyways.

[hasmuchtolearn]

I suppose but… BUT.

[This is hard okay? He had always imagined being knighted by the council, like all other Padawans. With his master there to watch. But his master never would regardless and these were… unusual circumstances.

He sighs.]

I suppose we do have a knight here.

[lothal]

I really think it might help you, to start letting go. Allowing yourself to be knighted means allowing yourself to accept the trials you've faced.

My master struggled with that, since he was technically a padawan when he took me on as his apprentice. I say technically because... Ultimately the ceremony's just a ceremony, isn't it? It's nice, but it doesn't suddenly make you more of a knight.

I think it's obvious neither of us are still padawans. Not at this point.

[hasmuchtolearn]

[Theres a long silence on Obi-Wan’s end. He thinks he could dispute that actually. He felt like he hadn’t been behaving like a knight recently, or a Jedi at all.

But… he did need to let go. He needed to move on. And not just for his sake either.]

Maybe you’re right.

[lothal]

You know, I haven't spoken this much Basic in years, but I thiiiiink that might be the phrase I've missed hearing the most. Hopefully a lot more of it to follow.

[hasmuchtolearn]

[A snort.]

So much for Jedi humility?

Where were you that you didn’t speak basic? And couldn’t shave?

[lothal]

[He shrugs! He's already an unusual Jedi in a million other ways.]

Another galaxy. Not like this, though, but one connected to ours. I've been- had been stranded there for about a decade now. That's, uh, what the younger me has to look forward to if he returns.

[hasmuchtolearn]

Oh… that’s.

[He’s not sure what to say about that. Another galaxy?]

How?

[lothal]

Purrgil? It was to save my planet. I managed to get all of the Imperials into one place, and then I asked the purrgil to jump to hyperspace and take us with them. I had to be on the Star Destroyer for it to work, though.

But it did. Work, I mean!

[hasmuchtolearn]

I know the other Ezra said he was taken far away but… that’s not what I expected.

So you got there, but you couldn’t get back?

[lothal]

Apparently, his memories stop before we actually land. He doesn’t know anything about Peridea, which has been my entire life these past few years.

But yeah, all the ships were badly damaged, and besides navigating from one galaxy to another isn’t exactly easy. I’ve thought about asking the purrgil, but they migrate too frequently. The ones that do stay… they stay forever. The planet’s the last stop on their life’s journey.

I’d only been found recently. I thought I’d be going home soon. Finally.

[And then he ended up here.]

[hasmuchtolearn]

… And then you came here.

[Finishing that thought for him.]

I’m sorry. That’s a long time to be away from everything that you’ve known.

[lothal]

It’s okay.

[It’s not, of course, but he’ll deal with it. It would almost be easier if he were pulled from before Sabine arrived. He’d probably be excited about all this then.]

I mean, you’re dealing with your own stuff, right? I’m sure everyone is. And regardless, I chose this for myself. It’s not something I regret.

[hasmuchtolearn]

[Theres silence for a few moments, but eventually he speaks up again with conviction.]

No… it’s not okay.

It’s not any more okay than being brought here just after my master passed into the Force. Or that the entire Jedi Order will be gone in a few years. From my perspective at least.

I’ve been struggling with all of this myself far too much, and your other self helped me realize that I needed support. We all need that. And… we’re Jedi. You, me, the other Ezra. We’re the only ones here that really understand each other.

[lothal]

Are we?

I worry about us, all of us, getting caught up in the past. Of what the Order was. Of what we were.

[He drops his serious cryptic Jedi Master attitude with a shrug as he continues, though]

Either way, I'm just getting used to being around people. It's overwhelming right now, but it'd be the same back home. I'll settle in eventually.

[hasmuchtolearn]

[Again there’s a long silence as Obi-Wan struggles with how to take that.]

That past is all I’ve ever known… and loved.

[lothal]

Do you remember your parents?

[It probably seems like a non-sequitur, but he's getting to something here.]

[hasmuchtolearn]

Somewhat? Just very brief memories, glimpses really.

I was only three years old.

[His voice is hesitant. He’s not sure he likes where this is going.]

[lothal]

When you left for the temple, that was all you had ever known.

I was seven when my parents were taken away And when I met my new family, part of me felt like I was betraying them. Like... if I loved these people, it meant I hadn't really loved my parents. Or I couldn't love my new family because there's no way I'd ever love them as much as my real family. So, what was the point of trying?

I couldn't get back what I lost. And I was afraid to get close to others again because I knew that meant someday, I'd lose them too.

In the end, I lost my parents and my master to the Empire. My biggest fears, fully realized. Still, I don't regret caring for them and I wouldn't give up the time we spent together, even if it meant I could get rid of the pain. And you know... my master had a son. I haven't met him yet, but I already know I'll love him.

Death, life. The Force. It becomes easier to see the cycle as you get older.

[hasmuchtolearn]

[He listens and while he appreciates Ezra sharing a bit of himself and his experiences. Obi-Wan is a bit uncertain.]

So what are you trying to say?