I really think it might help you, to start letting go. Allowing yourself to be knighted means allowing yourself to accept the trials you've faced.

My master struggled with that, since he was technically a padawan when he took me on as his apprentice. I say technically because... Ultimately the ceremony's just a ceremony, isn't it? It's nice, but it doesn't suddenly make you more of a knight.

I think it's obvious neither of us are still padawans. Not at this point.